The Big Picture

It is so easy to become caught up in thinking about the future to the point that we miss the present, the blessings right under our nose. Life is not a race. We will never re-live this moment right now. In the blink of an eye, time is gone and cannot be retrieved.

Today I was feeling very stressed out about some aspects of my life right now. It is easy to let those issues overwhelm and consume.  It seems that human nature has the tendency to focus more on the negative rather than the positive.

Then, I happened to see an obituary in the newspaper for a little baby that passed away recently, very unexpectedly. I do not know the family, but it still saddened me to read about it. I cannot begin to imagine the pain of losing a child. How devastated those parents must be! 

Reading that kind of brought things into perspective for me and opened my eyes again to how all of these momentary stresses and problems are really nothing in the long term. Someday when I look back on my life, I never want to regret that I did not "stop and smell the roses", as they say. I want to know that I savored the small, special, every day things that are essential in weaving life's tapestry together. You cannot really enjoy the final big picture if you don't enjoy the creation of it.

So, today I did not worry about if I accomplished my entire "to-do" list or not. I did not worry about cooking a fancy supper or getting every load of laundry done. I asked myself, "Is a 'good day' really measured by how much gets accomplished?!?".

Instead, I took time out to sit on the floor and actually play with my children. We went out and tasted snowflakes as they were coming down from the sky. We came inside and baked cookies. I wrote a card to mail to a friend I haven't seen in awhile. It was so nice to go at a slower pace and not feel like I was running a marathon.

Counting blessings and enjoying the present is a running theme on this blog. I keep writing about it because it is something that I am working on in my own daily life and it is such an important thing to remember. Between watching my good friend deal with her child fighting (and winning!) against cancer and others around me dealing with crises, I am continually reminded again and again how precious life is, how quickly it passes, what a true gift that it is.

Enjoy it, savor it, be thankful for what you have now, not what you do not have. Don't be so focused on the future that the present slips right by.

Real Love

As I woke up this morning on Valentine's Day, I was thinking about how blessed I am to be surrounded by an abundance of love in my life...especially from my husband and my children. They love me no matter what--even on the occasional day when I am impatient or grouchy! They put up with my clean freak/perfectionist tendencies. It doesn't bother them if I wear yoga pants and sweatshirts around the house quite often, or if I serve simple meals on those busy days. 
My little family loves me just the way I am, no strings attached!
They are continually doing things to demonstrate their love, too...whether it is a newly colored picture from my children and little arms wrapping around me in a "bear hug", or an unexpected phone call during the day from my husband--just to check on how I am doing and to say "I Love You". He always has the knack for knowing when I am especially stressed out or exhausted and in need of some encouraging words. He rises at the crack of dawn every day to go to work and even puts in extra hours so that I am able to stay at home with the children. He cheerfully takes out the trash and shovels snow.

Those kinds of things are real love in action and mean far more to me than diamonds or a box of chocolates.
You simply cannot put a price tag on them.

Don't get me wrong. It's nice to receive gifts, and I have received more than my fair share over the years.My husband is great about that, and I'm very appreciative. Physical signs of love in the form of a special present certainly do have their place. This year I have a vase full of beautiful red roses, courtesy of my Valentine. It was so special to answer the door and be surprised by a flower delivery! But, do you know what was most special about this gift?
The heartfelt little card that accompanied those roses...I will forever treasure it and will no doubt be re-reading it again and again over the years, just to "hear" those touching words once more.

It's important to remember, though, that no amount of material things can create love or keep it going if it is not already there to begin with. It often seems like in our society, love tends to be measured by how large an engagement ring is, how extravagant the wedding was, how costly a family vacation will be, or even how much money we are spending on our children.

Again, there is nothing wrong with using some money to benefit or enrich our family's life, but it will never replace actual love, or cause someone to love us more.

Real love cannot be bought or sold. Real love knows no limits. Real love is not hinged upon material "stuff". Real love lasts forever.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Updates

It has been a long, very busy week and so I have not had the opportunity to blog...or do much of anything computer related, really. It is hard to believe February is now here--the last full month of winter (at least according to the calendar!).

We are finding ways to stay occupied this cold season, especially on the below zero, freezing wind days when it is hard to enjoy being outdoors. Alot of arts and crafts, baking, and reading. Next week it will be time to launch into all things Valentine related, so that will be fun, and Isaac's birthday will be in a few weeks as well. Before we know it, spring will be here! We are all looking forward to the warm weather and thawing snow. Usually we can begin taking walks in mid March, as soon as the sidewalks are clear.

Homeschooling this year is going great! The children are soaking everything up and learning by leaps and bounds. I am continually amazed at their inquisitive minds and thirst for knowledge. Isaac is reading very well and has been delving into some real chapter books now. It is like a whole new world has opened up for him by being able to read whatever he wishes on his own. Emma, now that she has seen how much her big brother loves to read, has been begging to learn herself. She just turned 4, so I was not planning to start phonics with her until next fall, but given her eagerness, I decided to just go ahead and start the Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons book with her and see how she responds to it. Thus far, since beginning with it last week, her reading lesson time is the highlight of her day!

Ethan is a bundle of energy at 20 months old. He always wants to be involved in what the older children are doing, so keeping him occupied while I am teaching has been the only challenging aspect of homeschooling. It is constant activity in our house, with Ethan climbing onto everything, making huge messes, and daily learning how to do new things...such as open doors. :)

So, life is busy and very full to the brim, but going well. I have many things that I am itching to write about, but have had to put those on the back burner lately and focus on my family, which of course is my main priority right now. :)

I wanted to also put an update on my friend's son, Jacob, whom I wrote about back in December in the post entitled "Heavy Heart". At that time, he had just been diagnosed with stage IV cancer and had to have surgery to remove one of his kidneys. Last month he began to have chemo and radiation and will continue to have staggered treatments over the next several months. A benefit is being held for him on February 17th, so pray that some funds will be raised that will help with costs such as gas for the family vehicle (the hospital is almost 2 hours away, thus making for a lengthy round trip!) and also to help if Ben (Jacob's father) should need to take some unpaid days off of work. Jacob will be going back to the hospital on the 18th for a four day stay to have some intensive treatments. Please continue to keep Jacob and his entire family in your prayers. It has been a roller coaster for them all, something that they never, ever expected to happen, especially to a five year old. Jacob's mother, Elizabeth, has been a good friend of mine ever since we became penpals many years ago. She has a blog, http://www.trenchesofmommyhood.blogspot.com/ that she updates often with information on how Jacob is doing. Jacob's grandmother also has a blog, http://www.marypotterkenyon.wordpress.com/ and she shares about him there, and has written many other inspirational, thought provoking posts. Anyone interested in following Jacob's progress can read these two blogs.

Remember the Innocents

It has now been 38 years since it became legal for a woman to choose to end the life of her unborn child. Since that sad day in America's history, millions and millions of babies have been murdered by abortion. It is truly staggering to pause and think of all of those precious souls who had their right to life ripped from them so prematurely.


They never had the chance to experience a life outside of the womb. They never even got to look into their mother's face.

Let's not forget about them, those innocents who now rest in the arms of Jesus forever.

A New Year

At this time of year, the question seems to be on everybody's lips:

 "Did you make any resolutions for 2011?"

It makes me stop and seriously contemplate what I really want to focus on this year. Sure, it would be nice to get more organized. I would like to read more, to start writing my own book. Planting a huge vegetable garden would be a great thing to do. There are some home improvement projects that I would like to tackle. Maybe also increasing the level of my daily work out?

Those things look great on paper, and sound even better actually saying them in response to the resolution question. There is nothing wrong with having any or all of them as  goals for this year.

But, let's say that I didn't attain even one of them.

Life would still go on, with all the ups and downs, ebbs and flows. I would not be any less valuable as a person if I was not able to cross off every "to-do" item, if there were still things that I was not able to achieve and master by the year's end.

That is because personal worth is not determined by what you do, but rather by who you are inside and how you live your life. 

This train of thought made me think of my own children and my hopes for them. I could care less if they grow up to earn a master's degree, if they gain fame and fortune, if they have a prestigous place in society. Those things certainly will not make me love them more or think more highly of them. I care most about who my children are inside, more specifically the shape of their heart,what their values are, how they treat those around them, rather than how much higher learning they have or what their income level is. If they reach adult hood and are decent human beings, I will feel like I have done my job well as their mother. I want them to have a genuine appreciation for the gift of life and to live with integrity and a deep sense of thankfulness for all their blessings. I want them to put more importance on people rather than possesions or position.

Of course, I must first lead by example and demonstrate those principles through these formative years when they are young. In 2009 I watched my Dad fight cancer and eventually pass away when he was only 47 years old, and now this year I know of a 5 year old who is fighting that same battle. These are things you don't expect to happen, and when they do, it is a jolt back to the reality that life is is such a gift.  I don't want to waste time worrying about the future or be continually focused on what I need to accomplish next. I want to live in the present, this moment here and now.
 I never want to look back and regret that I myself took too many things for granted.

So, I ripped up my first list and made a second one which include things like: making sure that my children feel loved every day (and making sure they know that it is unconditional love!), working on having a thankful attitude,slowing down my pace a little so that I can treasure more of the simple joys of life, carving out more time for my husband and I, and not being afraid to say "no" when I need to.

I am looking forward to 2011, a fresh start on my way to living a life full of joy and gratitude.

This morning my son came down for breakfast, gave me an unprompted hug and said,
"I'm glad you're here today, Mom."
I am, too.

Image courtesty of VintageHolidayCrafts.com.

Wishing you a...

Merry Christmas--from our family to yours!

It's not about the gifts, the food, the parties and gatherings, the decorations. Those things fade in light of what the true meaning of Christmas is: Christ's love for all of us. We celebrate today that He came to earth to offer the ultimate gift of salvation. Even though His exact birthday is not known, our family takes time out on this day to recognize His birth and to express our love for Him and those around us.

In the midst of all the celebrating, my mind also thinks of those I know of who will not really have the chance to experience a happy Christmas this year due to illness and other hardships going on in their lives. My heart aches for them and makes me realize just how blessed my family is. I could be spending Christmas in the hospital trying to comfort my sick child. I could be out on the street without a  place to go home to. I could be wondering where my next meal will come from.
I could be all alone in the world.
As I have written previously, it is far too easy to take for granted the small things, to be too involved with trivial junk that causes the big picture to be missed entirely. Life is so much more than a rat race!

So, however you celebrate today, I hope that you are able to pause and  focus on the positive and experience His peace and joy! Count those blessings!
You may just be surprised at how many you actually have.

Heavy heart

This past Thursday, December 16th, everything suddenly came to a screeching halt when I received devastating news from a close friend of mine: her 5 year old child has just been diagnosed with what appears to be stage IV cancer.

It felt like I had been punched in the stomach. My knees buckled, and the room spun around me. I simply couldn't believe it. How did this happen? More importantly, WHY was this happening? And to a child?!?  It just seems so unfair. So senseless. So cruel. The doctors will attempt to remove the tumor next week, and then there will be chemo, radiation, and lots of healing to follow. The thought of this little guy having to endure all of what is soon to come is .....unbearable.

It is downright frightening that life can change so quickly. How did my friend and I go from talking about Christmas plans, our children's latest antics, even things as trivial as the weather---to cancer?

As a mother myself, it hits really close to home, especially because I also have a 5 year old, a mere three months difference in age from her child. This is truly a parent's worst nightmare. It is terrifying to think of one of my precious little ones suffering, so I cannot begin to imagine what my friend and her husband are going through right now as they watch their child battle this ugly illness, and at such a young age, too.

My heart is so heavy as I write this. I have no idea what to say to my friend. What words of comfort can I possibly offer? What can one say at a time like this?

All I can do is pray...and help to keep that flame of hope burning bright.

 As I said in my post yesterday, there has been alot on my mind. I have been counting the "little" blessings all around me that are easy to take for granted. The small things have suddenly become all the more meaningful.  I ask myself, "Do my children really know that I love them? Do they understand just how deeply I am grateful to have them, to be their mother? Have I held them enough? Have I left anything unsaid to those I love? Does my husband realize how much he means to me?".

Life is a fragile gift. We never know what will come around the next bend in the road. It is difficult not to allow the fear of the unknown to cloud the present.

 I was tucking my daughter into bed tonight and I think she could sense that I was sad about something.  She suddenly giggled and wrapped her arms around my neck then whispered, "I love you SO much! You're the best mommy in the whole world!".

Tears filled my eyes, and I hugged her a little tighter.

Savor the season

It's December! All I felt upon turning the calendar page to this month was excited anticipation, believe it or not. No stress, no frenzied panic, no "system overload" of mental to-do lists rushing through my brain. I am looking forward not only to Christmas itself, but also the upcoming weeks prior to it.

That's because this year is going to be a little different.

We have always been careful to emphasize with our children what the true meaning of Christmas is: Christ's birth and His love for us. We do put up a Christmas tree, we do give gifts, we bake a dizzying amount of goodies, we sing carols. BUT, at the core of it all, we have been teaching the children what the reason behind it all really is.

However.

It isn't the children that are the problem. :) For me anyway, it is so easy as an adult to get swept up into worrying about all the small things: such as if I have spent the same amount of money for each gift, if I remembered to give to everyone that gave us gifts the previous year...if I should make goodie bags for all the neighbors on both sides of our entire street since I gave a few bags out to our direct neighbors.. . I am often left feeling as though I have never done enough. Where does it ever end?!?

It goes beyond the mere gifts, though. Holidays seem to have a way of bringing out family drama. It is so difficult to celebrate and experience the joy when one feels pulled in a million different directions and spends the whole holiday running from here to there in an attempt to keep everyone happy. What I personally have realized is: I can't. No matter how hard I try! I, for one, am tired of guilt-filled Decembers.

Everywhere we look, we are bombarded with elaborate decorations, fancy foods, glossy catalogs and colorful newspaper ads promising great deals so we can afford to buy even more stuff than we normally would. There is always that long list of holiday parties, traditions, events, plays-- you name it--all of which we are "supposed" to be a part of. 

And then Christmas rolls around before we know it, and many of us are totally exhausted, broke, joyless. That is not how it is supposed to be! It's fine to give gifts, enjoy a good meal with our families, do some activites, but the key is finding a healthy balance, to examine motivations for why we are doing things. Is it out of enrichment for the family and bringing joy to others,...or is it because we feel it is what is expected of us, and we wouldn't ever,ever want to disappoint?

(I was inspired by the posts that my friend, Michelle, has written on her blog: The Adventures of Mommy Missionary . She has written about the subject of simplifying Christmas and "spending less, giving more." Lots of good ideas--check it out!) 

So, this year we are scaling back, carefully choosing a few activites to do (out of the many) that are important to our family, giving gifts to our immediate family and friends without worrying about keeping cost exactly even, doing alot of baking, crafts, rocking out to Christmas music, thinking of ways to play "Secret Santa" to those around us... and just generally slowing down and keeping things light, fun, and peaceful!

Every time I see these little faces, it sure brings things into perspective. Next to eternal salvation and my husband, they are the best gifts I could ever have under the tree on Christmas morning!